Deciding to go to counselling can be scary and daunting - after all you will be sharing parts of yourself with a total stranger. Or will you? Never forget that you are in control to share or not share whatever you like about yourself. No counsellor, social worker or psychologist should expect that you share the things we like to keep hidden away, especially on a first session! In fact it is emotionally safer to take the first session just to get to know the each other - and that includes you taking some time to ask the counsellor about themselves and their way of working, so they no longer feel a stranger. After all, counselling is not a one-sided transaction with one person expected to share all and the other nothing.
I'll start by sharing a bit about myself and how I might be on any given day if I saw you for counselling. I may have arrived slightly frazzled after packing several teenagers off to school, with a text message sent to at least one of them to say they have forgotten their lunch, or their Smartrider. I probably tried to cram in replying to too many emails before rushing out the door to work. On my way to work I would have listened to a podcast, either one of the many crime series that started way back with 'Serial' or other classics such as 'Missing Richard Simmons' or counselling related staples such as 'Invisibilia' (about the invisible things that shape human behaviour) or 'All in the mind' (more about our brains and behaviour). I'm sure I'll share more podcasts in future blogs, because they are one of my favourite things to talk about! Arriving at the centre I like to make sure we have music on and that our centre looks warm and inviting. On days that I remember, I will bring some flowers and foliage from my garden because I love bringing the outdoors in.
On meeting you for the first time, I am interested to know why you have come and how you found our centre. Sometimes people come on referral, so I will ask why the health professional/teacher/social worker/GP/Lawyer felt counselling might be something you need and whether you agree with them. You can talk as much or as little as you like, but as we have an hour together, we do need to talk about something! If you feel nervous or unsure, it is ok to talk 'around' the issue. Say something general like "I am not sure how people motivate themselves when they have been depressed" or "I am struggling with how I feel about myself". Sometimes people are not sure what to say, or how to explain what they are feeling and that's ok. Your counsellor is trained to help you explain in your own words what you are going through. It is not your job to keep the conversation going. Your counsellor is probably someone (like me) that loves to meet new people and is genuinely interested in learning more about you, so conversation is never a problem!
So if you feel nervous, we understand. It can be nerve wracking for some people, but we will offer you a cup of tea, a smile, a listening ear and a comfy sofa to relax on. Those nerves that you feel are a sign of change coming. For all of us, change is inevitable and is something we learn and grow from, and counselling aims to help you navigate those changes with you in control and the counsellor there beside you.
And finally, let us know if you are nervous! It helps for us to know and we can take things a little more slowly. We are here for you.
Kirsty :)
I'll start by sharing a bit about myself and how I might be on any given day if I saw you for counselling. I may have arrived slightly frazzled after packing several teenagers off to school, with a text message sent to at least one of them to say they have forgotten their lunch, or their Smartrider. I probably tried to cram in replying to too many emails before rushing out the door to work. On my way to work I would have listened to a podcast, either one of the many crime series that started way back with 'Serial' or other classics such as 'Missing Richard Simmons' or counselling related staples such as 'Invisibilia' (about the invisible things that shape human behaviour) or 'All in the mind' (more about our brains and behaviour). I'm sure I'll share more podcasts in future blogs, because they are one of my favourite things to talk about! Arriving at the centre I like to make sure we have music on and that our centre looks warm and inviting. On days that I remember, I will bring some flowers and foliage from my garden because I love bringing the outdoors in.
On meeting you for the first time, I am interested to know why you have come and how you found our centre. Sometimes people come on referral, so I will ask why the health professional/teacher/social worker/GP/Lawyer felt counselling might be something you need and whether you agree with them. You can talk as much or as little as you like, but as we have an hour together, we do need to talk about something! If you feel nervous or unsure, it is ok to talk 'around' the issue. Say something general like "I am not sure how people motivate themselves when they have been depressed" or "I am struggling with how I feel about myself". Sometimes people are not sure what to say, or how to explain what they are feeling and that's ok. Your counsellor is trained to help you explain in your own words what you are going through. It is not your job to keep the conversation going. Your counsellor is probably someone (like me) that loves to meet new people and is genuinely interested in learning more about you, so conversation is never a problem!
So if you feel nervous, we understand. It can be nerve wracking for some people, but we will offer you a cup of tea, a smile, a listening ear and a comfy sofa to relax on. Those nerves that you feel are a sign of change coming. For all of us, change is inevitable and is something we learn and grow from, and counselling aims to help you navigate those changes with you in control and the counsellor there beside you.
And finally, let us know if you are nervous! It helps for us to know and we can take things a little more slowly. We are here for you.
Kirsty :)
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