What are normal feelings of sadness, grief, loss or angst, and what is a mood low enough to be called depression? Many people think the answer might revolve around 'joy', with depression being the absence of joy. The ideas of joy as essential to a happy life, has been in the media a lot lately. Think of Marie Kondo's idea of 'sparking joy.' It is unusually abstract to wonder whether a jumper or a teapot can give joy. However if you reverse the translation and return to the original Japanese word 'Tokimeku', the meaning becomes something like the intangible feeling of joy in the body. I like to think of joy as a little spark between people, or between you and the world. In fact there is research to support 'talk therapy' or counselling as means to help people find that connection. Joy may just be a feeling of yourself in the world, with a place that feels right, where you have a purpose and meaning, even if that meaning is just that you are alive at this moment in time, appreciating that fact. But is joy a little too simple a term when understood as the antithesis of depression?
On the flip side, depression is a word many people avoid and walk around, like a black hole they might fall into if they really look closely enough. It is for some, quite a frightening concept, like the vast emptiness of the universe. To be given a label of depression can be depressing in itself, as though you are suddenly painted grey. Many people feel they must have done something wrong to allow themselves to slip into depression. Maybe they didn't try hard enough, or they didn't avoid the pitfalls they knew might be ahead. Well perhaps it is just too simplistic to lump all of life's experiences into a single, unappealing word like depression. What if instead we looked to the multitude of words that exist in non-English languages to try and describe the pain related to joy or an absence of joy? How about expanding our repertoire of feeling words and exploring feelings such as 'suadade' (melancholic yearning), or 'mono no aware' (the transience of something beautiful). Likewise their joyful opposites, 'forelsket' (the euphoria of love) or 'Yugen' t(he mysterious beauty of the universe). See more gorgeous words here.
It might sound flippant to kick depression to the curb as a simplistic term, but my feeling is that it can sometimes be a limiting term. Life can be damn hard. Our experiences can be tough and it can seem difficult to go on when each day imitates a mountain to climb. I think counselling needs to look into the cracks and crevices of the human experience to look beyond the vista of the mountain and to just breathe for a moment. Smell the air of the mountain, feel it steady and strong, turn our back to the mountain and lean against it and then when you are ready, take a walk a little closer. Those mountains are beautiful, the view from the top may be magnificent, but so is the view from the ridge where you stop and rest along the way. Every step has it's own feeling state, perhaps 'Yugen' sometimes, or 'Friolero' (in special need of blankets and hugs) or 'Querencia' (feeling safe at home) at other times. This doesn't mean depression doesn't exist. You may feel it does, and your doctor might also agree. I just like to embrace the idea that other complex feelings can also co-exist within us. We are more than the sum of one word. We feel so much. We are many things and how much richer that is than a signpost with depression on one side and joy on the other.
Kirsty :)
On the flip side, depression is a word many people avoid and walk around, like a black hole they might fall into if they really look closely enough. It is for some, quite a frightening concept, like the vast emptiness of the universe. To be given a label of depression can be depressing in itself, as though you are suddenly painted grey. Many people feel they must have done something wrong to allow themselves to slip into depression. Maybe they didn't try hard enough, or they didn't avoid the pitfalls they knew might be ahead. Well perhaps it is just too simplistic to lump all of life's experiences into a single, unappealing word like depression. What if instead we looked to the multitude of words that exist in non-English languages to try and describe the pain related to joy or an absence of joy? How about expanding our repertoire of feeling words and exploring feelings such as 'suadade' (melancholic yearning), or 'mono no aware' (the transience of something beautiful). Likewise their joyful opposites, 'forelsket' (the euphoria of love) or 'Yugen' t(he mysterious beauty of the universe). See more gorgeous words here.
It might sound flippant to kick depression to the curb as a simplistic term, but my feeling is that it can sometimes be a limiting term. Life can be damn hard. Our experiences can be tough and it can seem difficult to go on when each day imitates a mountain to climb. I think counselling needs to look into the cracks and crevices of the human experience to look beyond the vista of the mountain and to just breathe for a moment. Smell the air of the mountain, feel it steady and strong, turn our back to the mountain and lean against it and then when you are ready, take a walk a little closer. Those mountains are beautiful, the view from the top may be magnificent, but so is the view from the ridge where you stop and rest along the way. Every step has it's own feeling state, perhaps 'Yugen' sometimes, or 'Friolero' (in special need of blankets and hugs) or 'Querencia' (feeling safe at home) at other times. This doesn't mean depression doesn't exist. You may feel it does, and your doctor might also agree. I just like to embrace the idea that other complex feelings can also co-exist within us. We are more than the sum of one word. We feel so much. We are many things and how much richer that is than a signpost with depression on one side and joy on the other.
Kirsty :)
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